hey people...hows it going out there?i had a pretty exciting day today.....i discovered a new breed of females....females i have only heard about but have never rily had d pleasure of meeting....d kind of girl every guy likes but rarely ever have...today...**sigh**...(i need a moment plss..............ok im gud) i meet d girl who offers sex on d 1st day.
it was a pretty interesting experience....not wat i had imagined or thot of(4 d record...i have always imagined this day....n how i would act all smooth n fly n shit...lool).anywayz i had gone downtown to go luk @ som shoes i have bin scoopin 4 a while.i went to go n do a quick price check...to see if der was any sale goin on(yea...im that cheap).so i go to d bus-stop to check when my bus was comin...n i see 30mins.....fuck.so...as i sat down to wait 4 my bus.....this girl walks rite pass me...tack top....shorts....lovely skin...sexy ass body....**shivers** anywayz i carry my eyes away..."nothin 4 u der buddy....lets move along...u got a girl @ home..." hi.i turned,kinda suprised....n der she was....smilin @ me.i smile back n say hi."fuck luk @ this girll mehnnn....i wuld do som nasty....behave urslf alfred...wat is wrong wit u?nw concentrate on wat d babe is sayin"...she asks me 4 d time....i tell her...im expectin her to go away so tat i cn continue imaginin all d tins i culd do to her....den she talks again.r u serious??anywayz she strts talkin abot d weather....n abot d summer...n hw borin it was bla bla bla....to b honest...i didnt give a fuck...i was jus lukin @ her...top to bottom.."luk @ those thighs....girl if i had met u 8months ago..." (dnt luk @ me lyk that...ur boyfriend is worse than me...probably thinks about som other girl while he is kissing u)
anywayz her questions get more personal...she asks me if i have a girlfriend...to which i said yes....den....d most unexpected tin happened.she smiled @ me....n asked..."so...do u hav sex with a girl u jus met?" r u fuckin kindin me?? a girl offerin me...sex???loool.il b honest with u...i have neva....ok jus 1ce in my life....but i have NEVER bin offered pussy in my 20yrs on this earth...n now...she was jus givin it to me...free of charge??FUUCCKKK!!!! "say somtin u idiot!!!" i smile @ her....n tell her..well...not rily...im kinda picky..yea right...sigh.lorddd y is life so complicated???y do u test me like this???anywayz she tells me she its a damn shame...n that it was nice meetin me....n all that other formal shit...n walks away.i so badly wanted to call her back...to take up her offer...i mean...who would know??but i didnt...
i am supposed to feel good about myslf rite? so y do i feel like a fuckin idiot??!!
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
insomnia
its bin awhile since i blogged(dnt know if tat is gud english...but yea...who cares)...bin busy tryna sort out my life,skul,friends...all tat stuff...
tonite i culdnt slip.this is probably d 1st tym in my lyf i hav had trouble sleepin.i hear abot ppl who hav to tak drugs to slip...all tat shit...sigh..lyf is unfair mehn...ppl r diein all over d place....this recession is affectin ppl in ways i dnt understand...skul...well tats anotha story...people...pure evil.yes i said it...human beings r pure evil....we wuld kill 4 money...woman....power...u wuld tak d life of ur anotha human....jus to enjoy som materialistic tin?sad isnt it?n do u wannna knw d fucked up reality abot d whole situation??we hav to endure tat shit evry single day!!der is no rest....no peace of mind...we constantly hav to put ourslvs thru bullshit without takin a break....no rest.....no sleep(well...until ur died of course)
we r in a constant state of insomnia....awake to lyf n all it has to offer...trust me...der will b d bad tyms...when u think evrytin n evry1 is against u....when nothn seems rite...how do u get thru those tyms?by rememberin lyf isnt all gloom n doom....dat der is a silver lining in evry bad situation....luk around u....pick out those things tat make u happy...ur family..ur friends...wateva it mite b...n hold on to it...
b grateful 4 d good things u have in ur lyf....n stop bein so fuckin ignorant.
tonite i culdnt slip.this is probably d 1st tym in my lyf i hav had trouble sleepin.i hear abot ppl who hav to tak drugs to slip...all tat shit...sigh..lyf is unfair mehn...ppl r diein all over d place....this recession is affectin ppl in ways i dnt understand...skul...well tats anotha story...people...pure evil.yes i said it...human beings r pure evil....we wuld kill 4 money...woman....power...u wuld tak d life of ur anotha human....jus to enjoy som materialistic tin?sad isnt it?n do u wannna knw d fucked up reality abot d whole situation??we hav to endure tat shit evry single day!!der is no rest....no peace of mind...we constantly hav to put ourslvs thru bullshit without takin a break....no rest.....no sleep(well...until ur died of course)
we r in a constant state of insomnia....awake to lyf n all it has to offer...trust me...der will b d bad tyms...when u think evrytin n evry1 is against u....when nothn seems rite...how do u get thru those tyms?by rememberin lyf isnt all gloom n doom....dat der is a silver lining in evry bad situation....luk around u....pick out those things tat make u happy...ur family..ur friends...wateva it mite b...n hold on to it...
b grateful 4 d good things u have in ur lyf....n stop bein so fuckin ignorant.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
i woke up this mornin....feelin fucked up as usual...n i wondered...hw come 75% of d tym i wake up i feel fucked up?i was plannin on postin somtin more cheerful...u know...somtin tat was gonna make people laugh n shit....was gonnna talk abot fat women who wear shorts...but i mite as well just go on to what i have on my mind...
d thing is tat i dnt even know where to start.wat to say....wat to say....i dnt know how to say it....
typical me.i never know how to put my mind out der in d rite format....in my head...evrytin is organised....lyrical...inspirational...on paper...evrytin just comes out disorganised.shit.story of my life.i honestly think its a bad idea for people to get rily close to me.cos i have tis incredible way of fuckin tins up....let me elaborate...
i think alot.infact,to b honest....i think way too much 4 my own gud.i luk at evry lil detail...n always try to giv it som significance....evn if it means nothn at all.i allow irrelevant things to get to me most of d tym....n u know d funny tin....i know it.i rily rily wnt it to go away...but its lyk im addicted to thinkin...
most people cnt handle d whole of me.yea...sure....people love d nice...sweet alfred....always der 4 u when u need a friend...always ready to make u smile....willin to go d extra mile...jus to make u happy.but den ders d bad side.....d annoyin prt....d prt d get on ur nerves all d tym....d prt who is always quick to pick a fight over d most ridiculous tins u hav evr hrd of..(1 tym....i fought wit my best friend in high school jus becos he took my biro without my permission...imagine oo...biro)
i dnt like tat prt of me...n i always try to hide it...but it jus shows itslf evry now n den...i screws up tins 4 me.
there r vry few people who can endure other peoples bullshit.u could do anytin to these people...insult them....steal their money....wear their clothes(i hate tat shit)...anytin at all...n still...these people will always stand by u.amazin.i think evrybody nids som1 who cn tak der bullshit....som1 who can stand by dem when tins go ugly....som1 u know u dnt deserve but still loves u anywayz....
tak a luk @ ur lyf....luk 4 d people who stand by u even when u act like an ass...n b greatful u have dem....n stop bein so fuckin ignorant.
d thing is tat i dnt even know where to start.wat to say....wat to say....i dnt know how to say it....
typical me.i never know how to put my mind out der in d rite format....in my head...evrytin is organised....lyrical...inspirational...on paper...evrytin just comes out disorganised.shit.story of my life.i honestly think its a bad idea for people to get rily close to me.cos i have tis incredible way of fuckin tins up....let me elaborate...
i think alot.infact,to b honest....i think way too much 4 my own gud.i luk at evry lil detail...n always try to giv it som significance....evn if it means nothn at all.i allow irrelevant things to get to me most of d tym....n u know d funny tin....i know it.i rily rily wnt it to go away...but its lyk im addicted to thinkin...
most people cnt handle d whole of me.yea...sure....people love d nice...sweet alfred....always der 4 u when u need a friend...always ready to make u smile....willin to go d extra mile...jus to make u happy.but den ders d bad side.....d annoyin prt....d prt d get on ur nerves all d tym....d prt who is always quick to pick a fight over d most ridiculous tins u hav evr hrd of..(1 tym....i fought wit my best friend in high school jus becos he took my biro without my permission...imagine oo...biro)
i dnt like tat prt of me...n i always try to hide it...but it jus shows itslf evry now n den...i screws up tins 4 me.
there r vry few people who can endure other peoples bullshit.u could do anytin to these people...insult them....steal their money....wear their clothes(i hate tat shit)...anytin at all...n still...these people will always stand by u.amazin.i think evrybody nids som1 who cn tak der bullshit....som1 who can stand by dem when tins go ugly....som1 u know u dnt deserve but still loves u anywayz....
tak a luk @ ur lyf....luk 4 d people who stand by u even when u act like an ass...n b greatful u have dem....n stop bein so fuckin ignorant.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
thoughts
for awhile now....i had wanted to start bloggin....but somtin always came up(not important stuff)....just stuff.i woke up this morning....n to b honest...just wntd to sleep 4ver(yea i knw...depressin shit)....4 d record....der r gonna b alot of curse words in my blog(i dnt believ der is a certain kind of language to b used...so yea...fuck it..lol)
i woke up thinkin of my purpose on earth is for.really....think abot it...r we here cos our parents got cosy 1 evenin(or mornin...der is rily no certain tym to get cosy).....or is der som other reason...som higher callin...that we r supposed to discover??i think abot my life evryday....n i try to picture myslf 10yrs 4rm now....where exactly do i see myslf?i realized i think alot...i think abot evrytin...life,love,money,sex,politics,evrytin...i think abot human behaviour...how people behave...i think abot my family....my relationship with my father...i think abot evry lil detail....analyze evry situation...no matter how small or irrelvant....tats all i do...think.
sometimes i think wayy too much 4 my own gud....but still i think...i hav tis incredible ability to love people...inregardless of wat dey do to me...it makes me feel weak...vulnerable...but still i do it...people insult me cos of it....but still....
every1 deserves to b happy....evrybody deserves a lil love evry now a then...evry1 needs som1 who cn endure der shouts....der insults....der moods....2day micheal jackson died....say wat u want....but tat guy was a great man....a wonderful individual...evn if he enjoyed playin wit kids...(d guy was a freak...big whop...luk @ r.kelly pissin on a 13yr old...at least he was more tender)this man loved people.....he gav soo much to d society....n evry1 aways seems to 4get tat....sad isnt it??d man was hated n abused by so many but changed billion of peoples lives....y r we humans so evil??we hav all done som rily terrible things....(yes...u have...) n to b honest alot of us dont deserve som of d gud tins we hav in our lives...but still we hav them...n we still tak them 4 granted...FUCK!!
i try to appreciate evry gud tin in my lyf....1ce in awhile i let my father know...evn though we r nt cool.....tat i appreciate his influence in my lyf....im thankful 4 my friends...im grateful 4 d people who love me(evn tho they r few)....
try to think abot wat u nid to b grateful for.....n stop bein so fuckin ignorant.
i woke up thinkin of my purpose on earth is for.really....think abot it...r we here cos our parents got cosy 1 evenin(or mornin...der is rily no certain tym to get cosy).....or is der som other reason...som higher callin...that we r supposed to discover??i think abot my life evryday....n i try to picture myslf 10yrs 4rm now....where exactly do i see myslf?i realized i think alot...i think abot evrytin...life,love,money,sex,politics,evrytin...i think abot human behaviour...how people behave...i think abot my family....my relationship with my father...i think abot evry lil detail....analyze evry situation...no matter how small or irrelvant....tats all i do...think.
sometimes i think wayy too much 4 my own gud....but still i think...i hav tis incredible ability to love people...inregardless of wat dey do to me...it makes me feel weak...vulnerable...but still i do it...people insult me cos of it....but still....
every1 deserves to b happy....evrybody deserves a lil love evry now a then...evry1 needs som1 who cn endure der shouts....der insults....der moods....2day micheal jackson died....say wat u want....but tat guy was a great man....a wonderful individual...evn if he enjoyed playin wit kids...(d guy was a freak...big whop...luk @ r.kelly pissin on a 13yr old...at least he was more tender)this man loved people.....he gav soo much to d society....n evry1 aways seems to 4get tat....sad isnt it??d man was hated n abused by so many but changed billion of peoples lives....y r we humans so evil??we hav all done som rily terrible things....(yes...u have...) n to b honest alot of us dont deserve som of d gud tins we hav in our lives...but still we hav them...n we still tak them 4 granted...FUCK!!
i try to appreciate evry gud tin in my lyf....1ce in awhile i let my father know...evn though we r nt cool.....tat i appreciate his influence in my lyf....im thankful 4 my friends...im grateful 4 d people who love me(evn tho they r few)....
try to think abot wat u nid to b grateful for.....n stop bein so fuckin ignorant.
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