insomnia

its bin awhile since i blogged(dnt know if tat is gud english...but yea...who cares)...bin busy tryna sort out my life,skul,friends...all tat stuff...
tonite i culdnt slip.this is probably d 1st tym in my lyf i hav had trouble sleepin.i hear abot ppl who hav to tak drugs to slip...all tat shit...sigh..lyf is unfair mehn...ppl r diein all over d place....this recession is affectin ppl in ways i dnt understand...skul...well tats anotha story...people...pure evil.yes i said it...human beings r pure evil....we wuld kill 4 money...woman....power...u wuld tak d life of ur anotha human....jus to enjoy som materialistic tin?sad isnt it?n do u wannna knw d fucked up reality abot d whole situation??we hav to endure tat shit evry single day!!der is no rest....no peace of mind...we constantly hav to put ourslvs thru bullshit without takin a break....no rest.....no sleep(well...until ur died of course)
we r in a constant state of insomnia....awake to lyf n all it has to offer...trust me...der will b d bad tyms...when u think evrytin n evry1 is against u....when nothn seems rite...how do u get thru those tyms?by rememberin lyf isnt all gloom n doom....dat der is a silver lining in evry bad situation....luk around u....pick out those things tat make u happy...ur family..ur friends...wateva it mite b...n hold on to it...
b grateful 4 d good things u have in ur lyf....n stop bein so fuckin ignorant.

i woke up this mornin....feelin fucked up as usual...n i wondered...hw come 75% of d tym i wake up i feel fucked up?i was plannin on postin somtin more cheerful...u know...somtin tat was gonna make people laugh n shit....was gonnna talk abot fat women who wear shorts...but i mite as well just go on to what i have on my mind...
d thing is tat i dnt even know where to start.wat to say....wat to say....i dnt know how to say it....
typical me.i never know how to put my mind out der in d rite format....in my head...evrytin is organised....lyrical...inspirational...on paper...evrytin just comes out disorganised.shit.story of my life.i honestly think its a bad idea for people to get rily close to me.cos i have tis incredible way of fuckin tins up....let me elaborate...
i think alot.infact,to b honest....i think way too much 4 my own gud.i luk at evry lil detail...n always try to giv it som significance....evn if it means nothn at all.i allow irrelevant things to get to me most of d tym....n u know d funny tin....i know it.i rily rily wnt it to go away...but its lyk im addicted to thinkin...
most people cnt handle d whole of me.yea...sure....people love d nice...sweet alfred....always der 4 u when u need a friend...always ready to make u smile....willin to go d extra mile...jus to make u happy.but den ders d bad side.....d annoyin prt....d prt d get on ur nerves all d tym....d prt who is always quick to pick a fight over d most ridiculous tins u hav evr hrd of..(1 tym....i fought wit my best friend in high school jus becos he took my biro without my permission...imagine oo...biro)
i dnt like tat prt of me...n i always try to hide it...but it jus shows itslf evry now n den...i screws up tins 4 me.
there r vry few people who can endure other peoples bullshit.u could do anytin to these people...insult them....steal their money....wear their clothes(i hate tat shit)...anytin at all...n still...these people will always stand by u.amazin.i think evrybody nids som1 who cn tak der bullshit....som1 who can stand by dem when tins go ugly....som1 u know u dnt deserve but still loves u anywayz....
tak a luk @ ur lyf....luk 4 d people who stand by u even when u act like an ass...n b greatful u have dem....n stop bein so fuckin ignorant.